Call It Out, Then Let It Go
I’ve led teams long enough to know when something’s off — even before a single word is said.
You feel it in the pause before someone unmutes.
You hear it in the way people agree just a little too quickly.
You see it in the stiff body language on Zoom, the glances exchanged in a meeting room, the flood of Slack messages after the call instead of during it.
And you just know:
Something’s wrong.
But no one’s saying it.
Creativity dies in rooms like that.
Not from a lack of talent. Not from bad strategy. But from energy — the quiet, unspoken kind. The kind that makes people second-guess themselves. That whispers, “Don’t rock the boat,” even when the boat is already sinking.
I’ve seen it too many times.
Brilliant, passionate people who shut down — not because they don’t care, but because the environment doesn’t feel honest. Or safe. Or real.
That’s when I learned the hardest, most important leadership skill:
You have to be the one to say something.
Not to shame. Not to accuse. But to clear the air.
I’ve said things like:
“This conversation feels off. Is there something we’re not saying?”
“I hear your words, but the energy doesn’t match. Let’s talk honestly.”
“I might be wrong, but I sense some friction. Can we pause and check in?”
It’s uncomfortable. My voice has shaken. My stomach’s tightened.
Sometimes people bristle. Sometimes they go quiet.
Sometimes, the silence that follows is so loud, it feels like a slap.
But then — slowly — someone speaks.
They name it.
They say, “Actually… yeah. I’ve been holding something back.”
And just like that, the room softens. Truth rushes in like fresh air.
This isn’t about calling people out to feel powerful.
It’s about clearing the emotional static so the real work can happen.
And here’s the second lesson I’ve learned — just as important:
Once it’s said, let it go.
I’ve had hard conversations.
Tense ones.
Late-night Slack threads, face-to-face meetings that ended in silence.
But once we’ve talked it through — really talked — I let it go.
No resentment.
No mental scoreboard.
No “you owe me” energy hanging in the background.
That chapter is closed. We move forward.
And because of that, I’ve built teams that are tight. Creative. Fearless.
Not because we agree on everything — but because we trust each other to say the hard stuff and move on.
That’s what psychological safety really looks like.
It’s not about being soft. It’s not about avoiding conflict.
It’s about honesty with dignity.
Clarity with compassion.
Having the courage to say, “I think we need to talk,” and the grace to say, “We’re good. Let’s go.”
As leaders, our job isn’t to be liked.
It’s to keep the room real.
So if something’s off — say something.
Even if it’s awkward.
Even if your voice shakes.
Even if you’re the only one willing to say it.
Say it.
Then let it go.
Because that’s how teams grow.
That’s how trust is built.
And that’s how creativity stays alive.
Original story posted on medium.
Over to you : How do you keep honesty and trust alive in the teams you’re part of?
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